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Your marriage might be ruined by pornography

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, September 1, 2016.

A recent study that was presented at the American Sociological Association meeting found that watching pornography can lead to the end of your marriage. The study hasn’t been peer-reviewed yet, but there aren’t any major methodological flags present.

The study used data that was from a poll that asks Americans about a host of activities. The data came from the 2006 to 2014 General Social Survey. When the data was studied, it was found that women watching porn is more likely to kill a marriage than men watching porn.

For men, the rate of divorce doubled from 5 percent to 10 percent when he watched porn. For women, the divorce rate tripled from 6 percent to 18 percent when she watched porn.

There is a difference in what happens when women and men stop watching porn. If the woman stops watching porn, the divorce rate goes back down to 6 percent. That isn’t necessarily the case for men, but the study was cautious about making statements in this regard because most of the men who reported they were watching porn didn’t stop.

There are many other factors that can affect whether porn leads to divorce in a marriage. Typically, people who attend regular religious services are less likely to divorce because of porn, while younger couples are more likely to divorce because of porn.

No matter what is causing you to end your marriage, you should take steps to make sure that your interests are protected. Divorce mediation can often help you to get a settlement that puts you in the best financial position as possible.

Source: Science Magazine, “Divorce rates double when people start watching porn,” David Shultz, Aug. 26, 2016

Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Planning is a crucial step in the mediation process

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, August 12, 2016.

The mediation process is often a faster, more cost-effective method of getting through all the points in your divorce. If you are planning on going through mediation, you should make sure that you are properly prepared before you head to the first session, as well as subsequent sessions if more than one is necessary.

You must mentally prepare for the mediation session before that first session. This is a big point because how you mentally prepare can have an impact on how you handle the negotiations that are part of the process. You have to be ready to negotiate on the points that come up. Compromise is the key to mediation, so you can’t go into the meeting thinking that you are going to get your way on every point. You can’t let your emotions, such as anger, rule you during the mediation process.

Another important consideration is the financial aspect of the divorce. You need detailed financial records so that you can get moving on the property division process. Planning a budget for when you are a single person can often help you in this portion of the mediation process. Your budget lets you know what you can afford, which can help you to know if you are able to afford assets that require upkeep and have other expenses.

Make a list of the concerns that you have. By writing down your concerns, you can make sure that you have those addressed during the divorce negotiations. If you want, you can make a list of points that you think you need to hold firm on and points that you are willing to negotiate on. This can let you start your negotiations a bit higher than what you are willing to accept.

During the process, you can ask to speak to the mediator and/or your attorney in private. This might help you to discuss problems that are sensitive in nature. This also gives you the chance to get answers to any questions about your rights or obligations answered.

Source: The Huffington Post, “How to Prepare for Your First Mediation Session — Your Eight Steps Plan,” Dr. Michelle Rozen, accessed Aug. 12, 2016

Family Lawyers Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/

What if my ex doesn’t want to attend mediation?

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Wednesday, July 13, 2016.

Mediation can be an excellent way to expedite the divorce process and make it less stressful for everyone involved. Even after the divorce is finalized, mediation can help you and your ex-avoids the courts when you want to make changes to the custody or parenting schedule. However, mediation only works when both people attend, and if your ex-doesn’t want to, you may wonder if there’s anything you can do.

In many cases, the answer will be no. If your ex-doesn’t want to participate in mediation, your only option may be to go through a trial in the family courts. However, it may be worth talking to your ex and trying to explain how mediation may benefit them. It’s less costly and quicker than a full trial, for example.

If this doesn’t work, there is one situation in which a party may be compelled by the courts to participate in mediation: if you have started a case with the Supreme Court. In these circumstances, you can have your lawyer serve your ex with a Notice to Mediate.

As long as you serve the paperwork in the proper time frame, your ex will be compelled to comply unless there has already been an attempt at mediation, there is a protection order in play, the mediator doesn’t believe mediation will be helpful, or the court rules that your ex is exempt from participating.

If you think mediation may help you and your ex-resolve your differences, the first step is to talk to a family lawyer. After that, you will be better informed and prepared to move forward.

Source: Legal Services Society, “Mediation,” accessed July 13, 2016

Divorce Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/

What is Parenting After Separation?

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, May 13, 2016.

Divorce mediation can be an excellent option for parties who want to end their relationships but without all of the fightings. The mediation process can be especially helpful and beneficial for divorces or separations involving children. The less strife and contention surrounding the divorce, the easier it may be for the children to transition.

However, what happens when the divorce settlement is almost ready to be signed? How can you keep that atmosphere of teamwork and looking out for the best interests of the children as you move into your new lives? One of the things that the family courts believe can help with this is taking the Parenting After Separation session, which is required for most divorces with children.

Most people are required to take the Parenting After Separation session early on in the divorce process. However, there are some exceptions. If you are filing a consent order or have applied for a protection order you may be automatically exempted. Other situations that may result in an exemption include an immediate risk to you or your child’s safety, the presence of a serious health problem or you have taken the session already within the past two years.

The Parenting After Separation session will help you learn how to extend the respect and civility of the mediation process to your new family dynamic after the papers are signed and everything is finalized. It may also help you and your ex-understand the importance of working as a team to successfully co-parent your children. If you have questions about the Parenting After Separation session or the divorce mediation process, we can help.

Source: B.C. Government, “Do I have to take Parenting After Separation?” accessed May 13, 2016

Lawyers Coquitlam BC

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Divorce mediation can end your marriage faster than a trial

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, March 11, 2016.

Going through a divorce can be as easy or as difficult as you and your ex-make it. If you and your ex can work together with the help of a mediator, you might find that your divorce goes a lot smoother than you expected. While having to work with your ex to come up with the terms for the divorce, you might be willing to do so when you find out that you can often get things handled faster and for less expense than if you wait things out and go to court.

We know that you are having a rough time right now since you are having to deal with the end of your marriage. We can help you to learn about your options and rights as you go through the divorce. We want you to fully understand every point that affects your divorce.

As you go through the mediation process, you must make sure that you aren’t letting your emotions get the best of you. Instead, you need to decide what points in the settlement are non-negotiable and which points can be negotiated. This gives you a starting point so that you can decide how you are going to address all of the points your ex-raises.

We are here to help you throughout the divorce process. You don’t have to go through everything trying to figure it all by yourself. Instead, we can help you explore each factor that will affect your divorce. This gives you the information that you need to make decisions as you go through your divorce.

Coquitlam Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Divorce mediation may be right for you

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, January 14, 2016.

In order to get a divorce, you might think that you can snap your fingers and it will happen. There are actually timeframes that are constructive to getting a divorce. It can be an emotional time and divorce mediation may be the way that you want to proceed.

If you and your spouse don’t hate each other and want to get a friendly divorce, mediating between you, your spouse and both of your lawyers can be a good idea. There are some things you need to do before the divorce is final. The first step is living apart. You must have lived separately for at least a year before filing for a divorce. This gives you plenty of time to work out the details of the divorce, things like property distribution and child support and custody. One way to speed things up is to prove that one of you was abusive or committed adultery. This makes it a quicker process.

Step two is filling out a form and filing it at the British Columbia provincial or territorial ministry of justice or the attorney general’s office. Your lawyer can do this for you. This way, you know it is done correctly.

You can file for an uncontested divorce. This will ensure that the separation happens in a timely manner. You submit the divorce application on behalf of both of you. Again, your lawyer can do this for you. Your application can be filed in British Columbia and will be reviewed by the Divorce Registry. This office sends notice to your spouse who has 30 days to contest it.

The fourth step is to complete all the paperwork that needs to be submitted. This includes Affidavit for Divorce, Clerk’s Certificate, and A Divorce Order.

One month after the Divorce Order is issued you can get your Certificate of Divorce. This is a process typically requiring the assistance of a legal professional.

Source: FindLaw, “Five steps to a quickie divorce,” accessed Jan. 14, 2016

Coquitlam Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Facebook may come back to haunt you when your marriage ends

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, November 27, 2015.

When you’re married, you may decide to use Facebook for fun, just to connect with people. When you’re getting divorced, you may keep using it as both a way to share information and to vent. However, when you step into the courtroom, these posts could come back to haunt you.

For this reason, lawyers often caution clients not to use their various social media sites, if they can help it until the case is over.

As an example, take a look at it from the other side. Imagine you are trying to get child support from your spouse. He or she says there’s just not enough money to pay as much as you want or to pay at all. However, Facebook is covered in pictures from a trip to the Caribbean or status updates showing that your spouse loves the new BMW 5-Series.

These expensive purchases can be used as evidence of how much wealth exists. They could even lead to investigations if it appears your spouse lied about what he or she earns.

Another issue could be with the right to raise children. You may want to be solely in charge of this, but your spouse could turn to Facebook to show that you’re not going to be a good parent. With just a few posts, it’s easy to skew things so that it looks like you travel too much, party too much, or take on behaviors that could put the kids at risk.

Now, this may not be fully accurate, but it may only take a few Facebook pictures to sway a decision.

If you’re getting divorced, be sure you know what the law says about Facebook and how it may be used.

Source: The Huffington Post Canada, “How Facebook Can Be Used Against You in Divorce Court,” Christine Marchetti, accessed Nov. 27, 2015

Coquitlam BC Real Estate Lawyer

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca

Important considerations when changing your name

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, October 1, 2015.

Changing your name when you get married is common tradition for women, but more and more men are also deciding to change their name, either taking on a hyphenated version of both last names or sometimes even taking their partner’s name. If you are changing your name after a marriage, you can do this right away without any legal steps, but this has pros and cons. If you get a divorce later on, you will not have to go through any legal steps to return to your former last name, but you will also have to continue to use your prior name on all government documents.

If you decide to change your name legally on all of your government documents, such as a driver’s license and passport, you will need to complete the Election to Change Surname after the marriage. You will need your marriage license or the Joint Declaration of Conjugal Relationship form if you are cohabitating with your partnerbut not married.

Just like with marriage, you can begin using your desired name as soon after your divorce as you wish or you can choose to legally return to your former last name. If you choose the latter, you will need to complete the Election to Resume Former Surname form and provide a copy of your divorce decree, your birth certificate and the change of name certificate from the previous change. There is also a $25 fee, as of 2015, to complete the name change.

If you have questions about whether you should change your name after a divorce, how to fill out the paperwork or where to send your materials, a lawyer can help.

Source: FindLaw, “Changing your name upon marriage,” accessed Oct. 01, 2015

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Can adultery affect my divorce?

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, August 28, 2015.

The list of email addresses hacked from the adultery site Ashley Madison is slowly making the rounds in the media, and those who find their spouses on the list may find themselves suddenly contemplating the end of their marriages. While infidelity is certainly one reason many couples choose to part ways, there are some important things to keep in mind.

To get a divorce in Canada, you need to show that there was a breakdown in the marriage. Normally, couples have to have been living apart for at least a year before a divorce can be granted, but this requirement is waived in cases of infidelity. If you can prove that your spouse did have a physical affair, it may mean a quicker, easier divorce and less time spent in the emotional upheaval of the legal process.

However, if you are thinking about using the fact that your spouse had an affair against him or her in the divorce, for grounds other than just to prove infidelity, it’s important to understand that legally the fact that your spouse was unfaithful doesn’t have much bearing. The Canadian courts will not use proof of an affair to penalize someone in the areas of child support, spousal support, custody or visitations schedule.

That being said, the larger circumstances surrounding the affair may come into play, and that’s one reason why it’s important to discuss your case with a lawyer. Sometimes the money spent on the affair can have an effect on the property division settlement, and it may be of use in any mediation discussions as well.

Source: The Huffington Post Canada, “How Would Finding Your Spouse on the Ashley Madison List Affect Your Divorce?,” Andrew Feldstein, Aug. 21, 2015

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Resolve your family law issues using mediation

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, July 9, 2015.

In our previous blog post, we discussed how mediation can help you to work out family law issues. This can be a very effective tool in family law cases because it takes the decision making away from the court and places it with you and your ex. This can help you and your ex to work together in a way that allows you to compromise to get what you want.

In family law cases, mediation is helpful for a variety of issues. We can help you to get property divided using mediation. When you do this, you have to decide what property is important to you and what property you are willing to let go. We can discuss your goals with you so that you can have an idea of what to do.

We can also help you with child custody matters. Again, you have to decide what you are willing to compromise on and what matters you wish to hold firm to. You and your ex can use the help of the mediator to work things out.

It is vital that you ensure your interests are protected throughout the mediation process. We can help you to learn how to do this. We can help you learn how to get a settlement that puts the matters close to your heart at the forefront of the agreement.

If for some reason you are unable to come to an agreement through mediation, your case would then move to court. That, however, will likely take longer and cost more than going through mediation.

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370