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Divorce mediation: Transforming parenting roles during divorce

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A family enjoying time together before a divorce lawyer is involved

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Monday, September 4, 2017.

Waving the white flag is the first order of business when it comes to making the best out of a less than stellar divorce situation. Divorce is usually not looked upon as a positive regarding any familial area. But by adopting a divorce model used in British Columbia divorce mediation, divorce couples can parent their children as separate individuals as well as they were able to as a couple.

No couple wants any animosity that may be between them to be transferred to their children. There are times when children — in as much pain about the divorce as they may be — may use the situation to their advantage, and this is where having a parenting plan or map comes in handy. A family mediator may be able to diffuse situations where a child or children are pitting one parent against the other.

Focusing on the children is of the utmost importance when working out parenting roles during and after divorce. Children often think that they are responsible for their parents splitting up and that they must fix things. Part of the role of family mediation is to help parents deal with these emotions in their children.

Children deal with divorce differently at different ages, according to experts in psychology. When parents realize that if they don’t work as a team when it comes to their kids, their kids will try to pit them against each other mainly for attention. How children act could also be a reactionary way of how each parent is coping with the separation.

These are the kind of issues that can be discussed with a British Columbia lawyer experienced in family law and divorce mediation issues. A caring and concerned lawyer would be able to help divorcing parents and their children to get the help necessary to help through an emotional time. As well, a lawyer will make sure all the legalities of the divorce have been addressed, and that’s what lawyers do.

Coquitlam Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: mediate.com, “A Transformative Parenting Mediation Model,” Wayne Plenert, Accessed on Sept. 1, 2017

The why’s of divorce mediation in British Columbia

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Monday, August 7, 2017.

There are few things more heated in a family dynamic as discussing an impending divorce. British Columbia couples who are separating — especially when there are children involved — might do well to seriously consider divorce mediation. Solving issues peaceably is emotionally healthier for everyone involved.

Mediation may be less expensive and less stressful than going to court. The divorce mediation process will help both individuals learn how to best resolve contentious issues in positive, constructive ways. Mediation is also an informal, private process, which is conducive to constructive problem-solving. A licensed mediator will work with each party to iron out issues while still considering the needs of both people.

Essentially, there are three types of mediation: civil lawsuit, family and child protection. Once the couple agrees on issues, the mediator will help them put pen to paper regarding their agreements. Any agreements made under these umbrellas are legally binding and are viable alternatives to going to court. Mediation addresses all kinds of disputes.

Mediation not only helps to find solutions to issues not initially agreed upon, but it empowers each individual with negotiation skills. It may also give each party the skills to be able to maturely discuss issues in the future regarding any children they have. Once soon-to-be-former couple understands the legalities surrounding these issues, they will be more apt to make joint decisions rather than having their fate decided by a judge.

Even though divorce mediation in British Columbia avoids the litigation process, individuals have the right to get a divorce lawyer experienced in family law to give them valuable advice and guidance throughout the mediation process. A lawyer will make sure any settlement agreement complies with British Columbia’s family laws. He or she will present any accepted agreement to the court to be approved.

Coquitlam Divorce Lawyer

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: mediatebc.com, “Mediate BC Why Choose Mediation?“, Accessed on Aug. 4, 2017

Divorce mediation helps separating couples stay strong mentally

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Monday, July 31, 2017.

Couples facing divorce have much on their minds — sometimes overwhelmingly so. Separating British Columbia couples, especially those with children, must realize they need to take care of their well-being to continue to be active parents. Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences in life, second only to the death of a child or partner. Divorce mediation can make what can be a very rocky path much easier to navigate.

In a divorce situation, those involved must acknowledge that things are hard. Researchers have proved that when people understand and give their fears credence, what they think are shortcomings and what causes them shame helps them to grow in maturity and strength. Divorce mediation can be a process that strengthens separating British Columbians.

Agreeing to divorce mediation can help a couple leave the negatives of their situation at the door and deal with difficult issues like adults. Asking for this help can reduce anxiety, help the couple to develop a new, co-operative parenting strategy for their children and help them to deal with the changes that are happening in their lives. There are healthy ways to get through a divorce, and engaging in divorce mediation is one of them.

Even for couples who have the help of an expert seasoned in divorce mediation, having the help of a lawyer experienced in family law will be invaluable. Any couple living in British Columbia considering divorce mediation over litigation will find that a family law lawyer will be able to recommend a mediator. A lawyer will also provide legal counsel regarding any agreements before being signed and given to the court.

Lawyer in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: canada.ca, “Helping children and youth live with separation and divorce,” Accessed on July 29, 2017

Choosing the right facilitator for divorce mediation is important

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Two partners stare away from each other in an argument.On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Tuesday, June 13, 2017.

The dynamics of every divorcing couple in British Columbia are unique, and more and more people choose to be in control of important decisions rather than leaving it up to a judge. However, not everybody can deal with all the issues without the negativity that often surrounds divorce negotiations. For this reason, the choice of the facilitator of divorce mediation, like Laughlin Lawyers, is important.

The sole purpose a divorce mediator is to provide a platform for peaceful negotiations between divorcing spouses, and he or she may not provide legal advice. The issues typically discussed in mediation are similar to those dealt with in court. Couples can either have a judge decide on matters such as asset distribution, spousal support, parenting and visitation and property settlement or leave negatives about their marriage behind and deal with contentious questions in an adult manner.

The success of divorce mediation often depends on securing the services of a suitable mediator. Some may appreciate a directive mediator who will explain what will likely be approved by a judge and then propose solid resolutions of conflicts, leaving the divorcing spouses to choose one of the options. Other couples may prefer a mediator who would empower them to make their own decisions. This mediator will encourage communication — and compromise when necessary — and use skilled discussions and questioning to guide couples to mutual agreements.

Even with the help of a skillful mediator, an experienced divorce lawyer for each party will be valuable assets. Any British Columbia resident who is considering divorce mediation rather than litigation may find that his or her divorce lawyer can recommend a suitable mediator. Along with providing helpful input during mediation, legal counsel can go through any agreements before they are signed and presented to the court.

Coquitlam, BC Family Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Source: gailvazoxlade.com, “Mediation“, Gail Vaz-Oxlade, Accessed on June 9, 2017

Questions? Ask a legal question to the experts at Laughlin & Company today by visiting our contact page!

Divorce mediation can save time and money

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Scrabble tiles with a wedding ringOn behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Wednesday, March 8, 2017.

As an alternative to litigating a divorce in a British Columbia court, mediation is an effective way for divorcing spouses to resolve contentious issues. Divorce mediation is a process by which all important matters can be addressed in negotiations that are facilitated by a qualified divorce mediator. Although such a mediator could be a lawyer, he or she must be neutral and may not provide either party with legal advice.

The sole purpose of the divorce mediator will be to provide the platform and encourage peace negotiations in which both spouses can speak their minds and raise their concerns. He or she will not impose solutions but allow couples to find their own. Along with issues related to property division and child-related matters, couples may discuss any other concerning subjects. The mediator will guide couples to compromise when necessary and work toward drafting a settlement agreement.

In most cases, mediation brings to light the underlying concerns of people, and once those are understood, solutions are quickly found. Divorcing spouses that manage to find agreement and negotiate a settlement agreement on their terms often feel their newly acquired negotiation skills empowered them. It could also prepare divorced parents for child-related talks in the future.

Even though divorce mediation avoids litigation, each party is entitled to have an experienced divorce lawyer to provide valuable input and guidance during mediation. A lawyer can also ensure that the settlement agreement complies with British Columbia family laws. Once both parties have accepted and signed the agreement, it can be presented to the court for approval.

We’re local and ready to take your case:

Source: familylaw.lss.bc.ca, “Mediators:“, Accessed on March 3, 2017

Attorney Port Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Symposium promotes divorce mediation vs. litigation

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A beautiful family who don't need a family lawyer quite yet

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Wednesday, February 22, 2017.

It is reported that approximately four in every 10 marriages in Canada, including in British Columbia, end in divorce. A recent symposium was held in another province to help professionals in various fields who often have to deal with divorcing couples. These include financial advisors, real estate agents, lawyers and more. One of the goals of the organizers was to create awareness of the advantages of divorce mediation compared to litigation.

One spokesperson said, in its simplest form the problem involves couples that spend time and money to go through contentious divorce litigation to determine at what time a child should be collected from school. Although there are divorces that involve complex financial portfolios that can only be handled through litigation, she said most other cases could be resolved through divorce mediation. The spokesperson said many people do not recognize the positive effect that mediation can have on a divorced family’s future.

Litigation is always a confrontational process, and any other case — such as battling for recovery of damages after an accident — does not require the parties to have any post-litigation contact. In contrast, divorcing spouses will have divorce relationships for years following the divorce that can be jeopardized in court battles — especially if there are children involved. Divorce mediators are qualified to facilitate families and provide a non-adversarial platform where peaceful negotiation will be encouraged.

An experienced divorce lawyer in British Columbia can provide advice and guidance during divorce mediation. A divorce mediator may not provide either party with legal advice, but each spouse may have their respective legal representatives present during sessions. Lawyers can provide valuable input based on their experience with similar cases, and also ensure that the final settlement agreement complies with the applicable laws before it is presented to the court.

Source: edmontonjournal.com, “Divorce Symposium to boost alternatives to court process“, Clare Clancy, Accessed on Feb. 18, 2017

Attorney in Port Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Divorce mediation: Can a mediator also be legal advisor?

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A beautiful family who don't need a family lawyer quite yet

On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, January 5, 2017.

British Columbia residents who are considering ending their marriages might have heard that they can avoid the costs and trauma typically associated with litigation. Opting for divorce mediation can provide a platform for peaceful negotiation by which both spouses have the opportunity to discuss their concerns. A qualified divorce mediator will facilitate the negotiations and encourage communication — and compromise when necessary — to help couples reach agreements that suit all concerned.

However, even though a divorce mediator can be a qualified lawyer, to avoid a conflict of interest, he or she may not give legal advice to either spouse. For that, and for valuable input, each party may have his or her legal representative present during mediation sessions. So, how can the mediator help? The experience of a qualified divorce mediator allows him or her to explain the laws related to property division, spousal support, child custody and child support.

After assessing the family dynamics, the mediator can make suggestions that may guide spouses to resolve their issues. These may include parenting plans, and although the court makes decisions about child support, spouses may discuss additional payments. The same goes for spousal support, financial decisions and property division for which couples may find their own solutions. Once the parties understand the laws related to these issues, it may be empowering to be able to make these decisions together rather than leaving it to a judge who has no intimate knowledge of the family.

Throughout negotiations, the respective lawyers can ensure their clients have fair participation. If couples can agree on all issues, their respective divorce lawyers can make sure the settlement agreement complies with the laws of British Columbia. However, if some issues prove unsolvable, couples may choose to let the court decide on those and then come to divorce mediation to draft a final agreement which the lawyers can present to the court.

Source: divorcesupport.about.com, “What Legal Issues Can a Divorce Mediator Discuss?“.

Ask a legal question? Call Laughlin Law!

Family Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Divorce mediation can be a good process

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, October 21, 2016.

We recently discussed how important it is for people who are going through a mediated divorce to go into the process prepared. You can do this by thinking about what points of the settlement you can negotiate on as well as the points that you need to hold firm on. We can help you evaluate your assets and other points to determine a course of action.

While you are going through divorce mediation, the property division process isn’t the only one that you have to think about. You also have to consider matters such as spousal support and child custody. These matters can often be even more stressful than trying to divide property.

We know that you might have some questions about the decisions you will need to make during the divorce process. We can help you understand what Canadian law, as well as provincial law, says about the matters pertaining to your divorce.

As you go through the mediation process, you have to be willing to keep an open mind. There is a chance that you will be presented with an option for settling matters that you didn’t think about. By keeping an open mind, you might be able to settle things in a way that works for you but is slightly different from what you were thinking about.

We know that all of this is a lot to think about. At Laughlin & Company, we can help you sort through things in a manner that helps you to fully understand what options you have that are viable in your case.

Law Firms in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Keep an open mind and clear head during divorce mediation

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, October 13, 2016.

The mental trauma of going through a divorce is something that some people don’t expect. Even if you are the one who decides that divorce is the best thing, you are likely still going to have some emotional reaction to the filing and finalization that signals the end of your marriage.

If you are going through mediation to end your marriage and get the terms of the divorce settled, you have to make sure that you don’t let your emotions stand in the way of making progress. Your emotional ties to the marriage and the assets could hinder you from being able to negotiate.

Negotiations are the key to getting the divorce terms worked out. You have to be willing to stop and think about how various terms will work out for you. While you are going through the negotiations, make sure that you take the time to listen to what is being said and offered. This can be difficult, but being able to distance your emotions can help.

One thing that you can do that might help you to remain focused on the issues is to do your research before the negotiation process starts. If you have a marital home, for example, know the value, what is owed on it, what the typical upkeep is and any other factors that could affect the home or your finances in the future. Being armed with facts and figures could help you out.

While you are going through the mediation process, try to stay positive. It is easy to be discouraged when it seems like progress is slow. Sometimes, slow progress is exactly what you need to give you time to ensure that the issues you think are important are addressed.

Source: Family Affairs, “7 Tips on Preparing for Divorce Mediation,” Joy Rosenthal, accessed Oct. 13, 2016

Law Firm in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
laughlinlaw.ca

Your divorce settlement is the springboard to your future

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Wednesday, September 7, 2016.

In our previous post, we discussed how watching pornography without your spouse can lead to divorce. That probably doesn’t come as a shock to some people, but it does bring up an important point. There are various reasons why marriages don’t last. No matter what the reason for your marriage is ending, you must take the steps necessary to protect your future. Your divorce settlement is the end of the marriage, but also the springboard to your future.

We know that the end of your marriage is likely to lead to some thoughts of uncertainty. There is no guarantee how the property you and your ex-amassed will be divided. If you have children, you might be worried about how they will handle the divorce. You might also wonder about child custody. Who will get the children when and who will pay child support are likely concerns.

Every point in your divorce settlement must be considered very carefully. When you are dividing property and trying to determine child custody solutions, you have to think about the options. You can’t let your heart rule during this time. We are here to help you look at the possible options and weigh how each one will affect you.

When it is time to try to negotiate the points of your divorce, mediation is one possible option. We can work with you to determine what points you will hold fast on and what points are up for negotiation. We try to help you think about your future and how the possible settlements might affect you now and then.

Lawyers Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370