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Keep an open mind and clear head during divorce mediation

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, October 13, 2016.

The mental trauma of going through a divorce is something that some people don’t expect. Even if you are the one who decides that divorce is the best thing, you are likely still going to have some emotional reaction to the filing and finalization that signals the end of your marriage.

If you are going through mediation to end your marriage and get the terms of the divorce settled, you have to make sure that you don’t let your emotions stand in the way of making progress. Your emotional ties to the marriage and the assets could hinder you from being able to negotiate.

Negotiations are the key to getting the divorce terms worked out. You have to be willing to stop and think about how various terms will work out for you. While you are going through the negotiations, make sure that you take the time to listen to what is being said and offered. This can be difficult, but being able to distance your emotions can help.

One thing that you can do that might help you to remain focused on the issues is to do your research before the negotiation process starts. If you have a marital home, for example, know the value, what is owed on it, what the typical upkeep is and any other factors that could affect the home or your finances in the future. Being armed with facts and figures could help you out.

While you are going through the mediation process, try to stay positive. It is easy to be discouraged when it seems like progress is slow. Sometimes, slow progress is exactly what you need to give you time to ensure that the issues you think are important are addressed.

Source: Family Affairs, “7 Tips on Preparing for Divorce Mediation,” Joy Rosenthal, accessed Oct. 13, 2016

Law Firm in Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
laughlinlaw.ca

Child support orders might need to be changed

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Support on Thursday, October 6, 2016.

Paying child support has to be a priority for parents. As we discussed in the previous blog post, child support agreements can be made between parents, or you can turn to the court to determine who is going to pay what. In either case, child support has to meet specific points.

If you are going through a child custody case, the child support agreement is a significant component of the order. The child has needs that can only be met if there is money available, but both parents need to have money to support themselves. If you are trying to work out a child support agreement with your child’s other parent, we can help you to learn about the options that are available for child support agreements.

As the child grows up and circumstances change, there might be a need to revisit the child support order, or the child custody order as a whole. In those cases, it might be possible to have those changed. There are specific instances in which this might be possible. If you need to seek out a modification of these orders, be sure that you take action as soon as you discover the need for the change.

It is best to take swift action on any matter about your child. Your first course of action should be finding out what you can do. From there, you can make decisions about how you are going to proceed with your case. We can help you to explore the possible options and learn how they will affect you and your child.

Coquitlam Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/

Your divorce settlement is the springboard to your future

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Wednesday, September 7, 2016.

In our previous post, we discussed how watching pornography without your spouse can lead to divorce. That probably doesn’t come as a shock to some people, but it does bring up an important point. There are various reasons why marriages don’t last. No matter what the reason for your marriage is ending, you must take the steps necessary to protect your future. Your divorce settlement is the end of the marriage, but also the springboard to your future.

We know that the end of your marriage is likely to lead to some thoughts of uncertainty. There is no guarantee how the property you and your ex-amassed will be divided. If you have children, you might be worried about how they will handle the divorce. You might also wonder about child custody. Who will get the children when and who will pay child support are likely concerns.

Every point in your divorce settlement must be considered very carefully. When you are dividing property and trying to determine child custody solutions, you have to think about the options. You can’t let your heart rule during this time. We are here to help you look at the possible options and weigh how each one will affect you.

When it is time to try to negotiate the points of your divorce, mediation is one possible option. We can work with you to determine what points you will hold fast on and what points are up for negotiation. We try to help you think about your future and how the possible settlements might affect you now and then.

Lawyers Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Your marriage might be ruined by pornography

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Thursday, September 1, 2016.

A recent study that was presented at the American Sociological Association meeting found that watching pornography can lead to the end of your marriage. The study hasn’t been peer-reviewed yet, but there aren’t any major methodological flags present.

The study used data that was from a poll that asks Americans about a host of activities. The data came from the 2006 to 2014 General Social Survey. When the data was studied, it was found that women watching porn is more likely to kill a marriage than men watching porn.

For men, the rate of divorce doubled from 5 percent to 10 percent when he watched porn. For women, the divorce rate tripled from 6 percent to 18 percent when she watched porn.

There is a difference in what happens when women and men stop watching porn. If the woman stops watching porn, the divorce rate goes back down to 6 percent. That isn’t necessarily the case for men, but the study was cautious about making statements in this regard because most of the men who reported they were watching porn didn’t stop.

There are many other factors that can affect whether porn leads to divorce in a marriage. Typically, people who attend regular religious services are less likely to divorce because of porn, while younger couples are more likely to divorce because of porn.

No matter what is causing you to end your marriage, you should take steps to make sure that your interests are protected. Divorce mediation can often help you to get a settlement that puts you in the best financial position as possible.

Source: Science Magazine, “Divorce rates double when people start watching porn,” David Shultz, Aug. 26, 2016

Lawyer Coquitlam

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Coparenting and summer visitation schedules

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Custody on Friday, June 17, 2016.

Co-parenting over the summer can be very difficult. There are vacations to plan around, family events to attend and often competing schedules. However, with some communication and planning, it is possible to navigate the summer months without any significant issues.

Having a little flexibility can go a long way toward preventing summer custody issues and conflicts with your ex. Even if your parenting time order has a specific set of terms for the summer visitation, if you don’t mind changing things a bit to make things more convenient for your ex, it could better over the long term.

It’s important to remember that the focus during the summer months should be the same as the rest of the year: on the children. If your children want to spend a little extra time with a parent they don’t see very often; maybe it’s worth being a bit more flexible about how long your ex-has the kids or when you do custody exchanges.

However, predictability and consistency are essential to children, and there are some situations where it’s best for the children for the parents to stick to the schedule. This is especially true in cases where one parent may come in and out of the child’s life. If you feel that adhering to the letter of the court order is in the best interests of the children, that’s alright too. If you do have issues with your ex during the summer or believe there may need to be some changes made to the summer schedule, a lawyer can help.

Source: Huffington Post, “5 Tips to Prevent Discord While Sharing Custody of the Children Over the Summer,” Steve Mindel, June 07, 2016

Coquitlam Law Firms

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Important parts to include in a court order

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Support on Thursday, May 5, 2016.

A formal court order is one of the most important things you can have in your child support case. It protects both the parent paying the support and the parent receiving support because it ensures that there are specific parameters for the payments. Either party violating these parameters may result in the case having to go before the court and negative consequences for the parent who is not following the terms. Because of this, it’s important to make sure the agreement is thorough and covers all of the different elements.

The court order should include the basics, such as which parent will be paying the child support and who will be receiving it. The order should include the names and ages of each child subject to the support order as well as when the payments are to start and whether anything needs to be backdated. Other important things to include are how often the payments should be made, the exact amount of the payments and at what date the payments will end.

In addition to the formal court order, there may also be the child support worksheet attached. This form lists the income for both parents as well as any pertinent expenses or adjustments. If these numbers change significantly as time passes, it may be grounds for a review of any change to the child support order.

Sometimes, there are cases that involve children who require special or extraordinary expenses. These should be stated in the order and include the type of expense, which child it relates to and how much each parent will be responsible for. An experienced attorney can review your child support agreement and note any areas that may need a closer look.

Source: Family Maintenance Enforcement Program, “Obtaining a court order,” accessed May 05, 2016

Coquitlam Law Firms

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Getting a better divorce settlement

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Division of Property on Friday, April 22, 2016.

While a divorce is often a very emotional process, many people are more prepared to deal with the anger, disappointment, and frustration of ending a relationship than boiling down their marriage into a list of debts and assets. However difficult it may be, the divorce settlement is one of the most important aspects of the divorce, and there are some things you can do to set yourself up for success.

Before you begin thinking about what you want out of the divorce, or even whether you want to go the traditional route or take advantage of the collaborative process, it’s important to talk with a lawyer. Realistic expectations and goals are important, and having a consultation can help ensure you are fully aware of what you are entitled to and your legal options to pursue it through the courts.

A key part of the process is to establish a team of experienced professionals who can guide you. For example, it’s common for parties going through a collaborative divorce to have financial experts who can help them better understand what their assets are worth, what a fair settlement may be and the property division options. Even though child custody and property division are separate issues, it’s important to consider the expenses related to the children in the settlement process.

Whether you are already in the midst of an adversarial divorce or curious about the collaborative process, talking with a lawyer in British Columbia is the first step. After your initial meeting, you will be more informed and better prepared to start making decisions.

Source: MoneySense, “How to get a better divorce settlement,” April 13, 2016

Coquitlam BC Law Firms

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

Divorce mediation can end your marriage faster than a trial

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, March 11, 2016.

Going through a divorce can be as easy or as difficult as you and your ex-make it. If you and your ex can work together with the help of a mediator, you might find that your divorce goes a lot smoother than you expected. While having to work with your ex to come up with the terms for the divorce, you might be willing to do so when you find out that you can often get things handled faster and for less expense than if you wait things out and go to court.

We know that you are having a rough time right now since you are having to deal with the end of your marriage. We can help you to learn about your options and rights as you go through the divorce. We want you to fully understand every point that affects your divorce.

As you go through the mediation process, you must make sure that you aren’t letting your emotions get the best of you. Instead, you need to decide what points in the settlement are non-negotiable and which points can be negotiated. This gives you a starting point so that you can decide how you are going to address all of the points your ex-raises.

We are here to help you throughout the divorce process. You don’t have to go through everything trying to figure it all by yourself. Instead, we can help you explore each factor that will affect your divorce. This gives you the information that you need to make decisions as you go through your divorce.

Coquitlam Lawyers

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370

What are some ways to cope with divorce?

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Child Custody on Thursday, February 25, 2016.

Nearly everyone knows at least one person who is divorced or is currently going through the process, but this doesn’t make it any easier if and when it happens to you. Learning how to cope with the challenges of ending your marriage is important to your mental health, your children’s adjustment and how well you are able to move forward with your life.

  1. Remember that this is temporary.
    Right now your world is being turned upside down, and it’s easy to get lost in the swirl of emotions, court appearances, and cycle of blaming. Take a step back — and a deep breath — and remember that while your divorce may be permanent, the process is temporary. It may take a few weeks, months or even years, but eventually, you will be in a better place.
  2. Focus on the children.
    Putting your energy into making sure your kids are taken care of and coping as best as possible with the divorce can give you something else to focus on other than your ex or your own negative emotions. Divorce is very difficult for children, particularly if there are ongoing custody issues, and it’s important to spend plenty of one-on-one time with them during this process.
  3. Have someone to vent to.
    Divorce is a very difficult process, and it’s normal to feel anger, sadness, and grief — sometimes within just a few minutes of each other. Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member or professional, having someone to talk to can help you get your feelings out in a healthy manner so you can focus on positive interactions with your ex and a smooth transition for the children.

Source: Slate, “Seven ways to get through a divorce when you have small children,” Lara Bazelon, accessed Feb. 25, 2016

Coquitlam Lawyer

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370
https://www.laughlinlaw.ca/

What kinds of actions can undermine mediation?

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On behalf of Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators posted in Divorce Mediation on Friday, February 12, 2016.

Divorce mediation can be an invaluable tool for those who want to make the process of ending their relationships as quick and painless as possible. However, mediation is also a rather fragile process, and it doesn’t take much for one party to feel like the other is being too adversarial for it to work. Here are a few of the things to avoid when you are working through a divorce mediation.

One of the biggest things to avoid is dating. While you may want to focus on moving on quickly, there are often still a lot of feelings involved with couples who are divorcing. If your soon-to-be ex-finds out that you are already romantically involved with someone or actively looking for a new partner, there could be enough of a flare up in the anger and resentment to stall or put a complete stop to your mediation negotiations.

It’s also a good idea to avoid airing your divorce on any social media. While you’re at it, you’ll also want to avoid snooping on what your ex is doing too. Social media pages are fair game if the mediation doesn’t work out and the case ends up going to trial. Keeping track of what your ex is saying or doing makes it harder for you to be objective in the mediation process.

It’s best to go over what you should avoid and what is OK during the mediation with your lawyer. Having this conversation early on in the process makes it easier for you to be able to give mediation your best effort.

Source: Forbes, “Divorcing Women: Don’t Make These Five Costly Mistakes,” accessed Feb. 12, 2016

Lawyer Coquitlam BC

Laughlin & Company Lawyers Mediators
2755 Lougheed Hwy #710, Port Coquitlam, BC V3B 5Y9
(604) 945-4370